Monday, September 20, 2010

Navel Gazing

So. How are you? I am fine. Hanging on by my fingernails, frizzled hair whipped into a frenzy by the howling winds of chaos that threaten to consume my very being and lay waste to all I have achieved, but fine.
My children are in kindergarten and loving every second of it. When I come to pick them up at the end of the day they leap enthusiastically into my arms and then as soon as they are done kissing me begin shrieking that they can not possibly leave yet! They haven't finished coloring their tree frogs! They are still playing Foosball! It's Dot-Art day!! Have I no sense of decency!?!
But I am glad. Glad they wake up every day wanting to go to school, glad that they have teachers who really like them and want them to grow and learn, glad that they do not want to leave at the end of the day.
I myself am going through an introspective season in my life. I am reading - devouring - books on streamlining and simplifying my existence, casting off the unnecessary to make room for the things that really matter, figuring out exactly what those things are. I wonder if this is what they mean by a mid-life crisis? The timing certainly seems right, although the crisis part does not ring true. Not so much crisis; more re-evaluation, retrospection, introspection, speculation. What matters to me? What do I love? Why me, here, now? WHAT? These are the questions of the day. They are harder to answer than I thought.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jenn.......everyday and every decade of our lives bring different ponderings.......when we're younger we hit life at full speed and can't wait until we're 16, or 21 or 30 or...then...we've reached all those "benchmarks". Now, at nearly 55 I am thankful for that "full speed ahead" feeling that I had and put that same feeling into taking better care of myself and those I love..it's a wonderful thing, just different. The things that mattered yesterday or last week or last year are the same as the things that matter now...or even tomorrow. I think it's just the way it is! Keep on truckin'.

Anonymous said...

I meant to write..The things that mattered yesterday or last week or last year ARE NOT the same as the things that matter now...Lesson to self read your post before posting!

JennC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JennC said...

Thank you! It's comforting to know I am not the only one who has gone through a period like this.