How far we have fallen....

I just spent the last few hours at our local Soup Plantation shoveling forkfuls of salad into my mouth in between cries of "Hey!" "I said STOP." "No running!" "BE. STILL." Did I mention I brought the kids with me? My friend Jessie and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get together with her parents who are visiting from Wisconsin. Jessie's parents have been treated to many pictures of kids over the years - which is terribly deceptive, given that they are (mostly) still in pictures. This evening they ran around our table like a pack of coked-out hyenas. At one point I looked at Jessie's mom (who was doing her very best not to look completely appalled - she is an incredibly good sport) and said "You know, four years ago I would have been mortified by this, but now I just can't be bothered."

I'm pretty sure I'm her favorite now.

Persistence

Ava: Mom? What are you doing?
Me: I'm ordering some things on the computer......
A: Can we find pictures of me and look at them?
M: ....um....in a minute.....just let me finish this.....
A: Can you find some pictures of me? On the computer?
M:.....I will in a minute sweetie........
A: Mom? Are you finding pictures of me?
M: .....no.....I'm still ordering the stuff.....hang on.....
A: Hey mom, I have a good idea!
M: .....mmm-hem?.......
A:You can stop doing that and find pictures of me and we can look at them! Isn't that a great idea?

Bonus Conversation:
Ava: Mooooommmmmmm!!! Cate said she was 4 years oooollllllddddddddd!!!! (Is the whiny-ness coming through?)
Me: Is that true? Is she 4 years old?
A: Noooooooo!!!!!
M: Then why are you getting upset?
A: Because I AAAAMMMMMMMM!

Why does this not work in my life?

Already?

The television was on and tuned to the Disney Channel and all of the sudden Cathryn is shrieking "Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! MOM! I love Hannah Montana!!!

Dude. YOU ARE THREE.

Get. Away.

The kids and I joined Brian for an overnight in San Diego On Friday. In typical Carlson style we totally forgot that it was a holiday week-end, which explains why the trip down on Friday afternoon took a few minutes longer than FOREVER.

A taste of our mini-vacation, family style:

We started off with a trip to the Reuben Fleet Science Museum in Balboa Park, where we met up with Brian. The museum in general is fantastic, with lots of hands on stuff, but the best part was the Kids Space equipped with a mini-grocery store area, complete with a check-out stand equipped with a conveyor belt. Two large wheels at either end allow kids to move the belt either backwards or forwards; after sliding assorted fruits and vegetables down the belt into a waiting basket the kids realized that the belt could also be used as a ride!

Mommy!! Would you like a Cate sandwich? Coming right up! How about a Jack taco? Here you go! Daddy! You need a Ava burrito!

We headed back to the hotel and Brian went to a nearby Wendy's to grab some food for dinner. Did you know that they put mini-Frosties in their kids meals? And that if you have 3 kids, and you don't share this fact with them but instead pour them all into one cup and say it is Mommy's drink and you won't like it that you can basically get a free Frostie? You're welcome.

Night-time was an adventure all on its own.....the room had a smallish alcovyish walk-in-closet dressing area, so we put the kids in there in the hopes that they would fall asleep and we could watch a little t.v. or read or do something -anything- that didn't involve repeating the words "because I asked you to" 1,000 times (which obviously rules out sex, but whatever, we were tired). Why did we think this would be possible? Have we not been doing this for three years now? We settled the kids down with kisses and strict admonitions to BE QUIET. OR ELSE. That worked for about 1 minute, and then the giggles started.....quiet at first....then louder.....and louder......GO! TO! SLEEP!.......ooookkkaaaayyyy moooooommmmm.......giggle giggle giggle snort shhhhhh! giggle giggle giggle.......It was actually pretty funny. Listening to them trying to suppress their laughter I could just picture their little bodies shaking with trapped mirth until they could no longer contain it and it snorted out of them. Brian and I started giggling in our bed, also trying to be quiet so they would not hear us laughing.......I love knowing that my kids have experienced the deliciousness of forbidden laughter.......

The next morning we headed up to Chris and Dawn's house for some quality time with the cousins. We had planned on going to the park, but the weather was still cold and undecided, so instead we headed to a nearby Chik-Fil-A. While this would not have been my first choice, Dawn said it had a great play place, and......I'm sorry. Have you not read the zillions of articles about heroin needles and dead ferrets in fast-food restaurant play places? No, she assured me, this one was actually nice and the food was pretty good too. OK, fine, whatever, let's go. Well, dip me in batter and call me fried - it was great! Maybe it was because the place was brand-spanking-new, but it was clean (like, Disneyland clean), and the chicken nuggets? Made of actual cut-up chicken! Their kids meals were perfectly proportioned, with an option of fruit salad (with real strawberries!) instead of fries (which were fabulous). They have several grilled-chicken options, including the awesome wrap I eventually chose. The kids had so much fun playing in the play space that they slept the entire way home.

I am so Googleing Chik-Fil-A to find the closest one.

Pathetic

I just went to Target to buy underwear and came out a little over $200 dollars lighter. I'm not sure which is more sad - that I buy my underwear at Target, or that I am can not go into that store without dropping a substantial portion of my paycheck. Why must you be like that Target? WHY?

Lolo Poppins

So Saturday morning the Psychology Department held its commencement ceremonies. Brian was out of town, Mimi and Auntie and Miss Jessica were all busy. In desperation I called on my friend Lauren and begged her to come and watch the kids; I hate calling on Lauren because 1) she lives a fair distance away, so it is no easy thing for her to "pop" over, and 2) she is busy enough with her own lovely one-year-old boy Owen. However, like a true friend she came to my rescue and showed up bright and early Saturday morning with Owen and a big bag 0'fun. I scooted out the door, with glib promises of being back in an hour and a half.....

I will skip the torture that was the commencement ceremony; this year we were outside instead of in the air-conditioned gym where we have held our ceremonies for the past three years. Clearly someone somewhere did something horrible and now God and the Dean hate us. Suffice to say that 2 hours and 45 minutes later, in the beginning stages of heat stroke, I arrived home sweaty and hoping that Lauren wasn't waiting for me with firing squad......

What I actually found waiting for me were three happy children who were sad that I was home because that meant Auntie Lolo and Baby Owen would leave. While I was gone they had read books and colored in the new coloring books Auntie Lolo brought them. But what really thrilled me was that she had also found the time to make the sweetest drawings with them; she asked them "What do you like to do with your Daddy?" and she wrote it on a piece of paper which they then drew on. Jack said "I like playing with my daddy" and added some very nice squiggles in various shades of blue and also a "J" and an "A" and what looks a bit like a "C" or maybe another "A" - but not too bad for a three old I would say.......Ava said "I like to run in the grass with my dad" and signed her name in green, of course. Cate said "I like to do a lot of tricks with my daddy" and decorated the paper with orange, purple and pink. I was going to save them and give them to Brian on Father's Day, but I just couldn't wait, so they became his "Welcome Home!" gift instead.....

Lauren herself was still smiling when I got back, so I took that as a good sign. She said that Owen had a good time playing with the "big kids" (hard to believe my babies are now the Big Kids!) and was full of smiles and kisses for me. He really is a cutie pie; he has his mommy's smiling eyes and his daddy's everything else. Quite the killer combination......

So I owe Lauren a million thanks and probably half as many strong drinks. If she is reading this then I should warn her that the kids have asked repeatedly when I will be leaving again so that Baby Owen and Auntie Lolo can over? Today? Later? Is Later TODAY?

Subtle Differences

People sometimes ask if my children are "alike" - I suppose it is a natural question; they are, after all, siblings and come from the same genetic soup. As it happens however, they are an excellent example of the infinite variety that the combination of two sets of genes can produce. I offer as proof a snippet of this evening:

Mimi and the Guncles were over and before bath Cate demanded that we have Dance Party! time. She had donned her new silver tulle-and-spangles tutu-skirt and her silver glitter Mary Janes and was clearly in the mood to party. Steve started playing Metallica on the guitar and it all went downhill from there. Jack grabbed various instruments and started careening around the living room like a one-man-band on crack. Ava tried on various Dance Party outfits, but nothing was working for her until she found the pink tulle fairy tutu; arrayed to her satisfaction she bounded into the living room and started to dance the most dainty fairy princess-like dance possible for a three year old hopped up on ice cream and no nap. So here is the scene in our living room: Jack ping-ponging off the walls, tooting jingling ringing shaking drumming. Ava flitting around like a delicate fairy, pointing her toes and making twirly skips around the center of the room. Cate running between the big red chair and the entertainment armoire, alternately crashing into each of them with the grace of a rugby player. All of them very high energy, but with completely different ways of expressing that energy.

Vive la difference!